Growing up I knew I had lots of cousins. I was also a bit confused as to why a lot of the ones on my dad's side of the family had the same name. I am Christine, but I had four cousins called Christina. It was only later on, I realised we had all been named after my dad's mum, Christina Barr Walker, with all of us being given middle names of Barr or Walker or both.
I didn't get to know these cousins well as they were all so much older than me. My dad had been the youngest of the twelve children my grandparents had and these twelve children's births spanned 26 years. The eldest of my 'Christina' cousins, Christina Walker Clinton, was born in 1917 - making her 40 years old when I was born! The other three were born in 1922, 1930 and 1932! Christina (Chrissie) Clinton's sons (my first cousins once removed) were born in 1936 and 1938 - so, despite being a generation of a difference, they were also 'too old' for me to get to know, although I was a flower girl at both their weddings.
Serious looking flower girl on the right at my first cousin once removed wedding. Own photo.
Of course, the Christinas had siblings too, but again they were so much older than me. All in all I had 10 paternal cousins ( not all my dad's siblings survived childhood and two who did never had children), only two of which were male and one of those being my youngest cousin, John McAra, who was still 8 years older than me, and so also out of my age bracket. I am not quite the 'last man standing'. John's sister is alive and well in Canada and my oldest cousin, born Christina Barr McAra is, at 93, alive and well today too. Both have been really helpful in telling me stories about my grandparents and their childhoods that I otherwise wouldn't have known and I am very grateful for that.
My maternal cousins are not as numerous. I had only three, two of which are still alive and one is even younger than me!! However, again, as children, we were not close, though we have reconnected over the years.
It was only when I stopped to think about the years separating my cousins and I that I realised the same would have been true for my dad. His mother was the second youngest of eleven children! His dad though was the eldest of five. When I tried to do a rough cousin count for him I discovered he had had at least 55!!! I never heard my dad speak about his cousins - not a surprise when again there was a whole generation gap between them and him. His eldest cousin was 41 years older than him! Even although most of them were still living in the local area I'm sure he never knew them.
I then had a think about my children's cousins - they have three on my side of the family, but twenty-one on their dad's side, due to Martin being one of ten children. The age gap between the oldest and youngest cousins there is over forty years. These cousins are also separated by distance - the USA, the Netherlands, Denmark, Australia. Nowadays, with people having fewer children, living all over the world, it may not matter how many cousins you have, you still might not know them well.
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